A Month of Thanks

Can I tell you that I am really struggling this month? Can I tell you that it has been really hard to find things that I am grateful for? In light of the current living situation at home and startling news from family, I have been through the ringer emotionally.
No worries, Luis and I are going strong and supporting each other through life. He is, by the way celebrating his 11 months of sobriety!! Couldn't be prouder!
My mother-in-laws visit couldn't have gone more sour. She was very hard to get along with and I felt like I tried pretty dang hard! For how cute she is, she is a handful. I understand that she has very little in her life to find joy about, but please, she brought me waaaay down! For the 2 months that she stayed with us, there is very little to talk about. She refused to eat my cooking and pouted when we couldn't go to the casino every weekend! ACK! But that is in the past and right now she is in Florida working on her citizenship. I really hope it works out!
My brother-in-law has been living with us for 3 months now. And in those 3 months he has spent over $2000 in alcohol! It's amazing and disgusting! Every weekend he has a bender and then it takes 2 days of recovery. One good thing is that he doesn't push Luis to drink with him. Luis has said that this has been good medicine for him because he doesn't want to look and act like that when he is 48!
Enough of the complaining already! Sheesh! OK. I got that out of my system and even though I am behind, willtry hard to find something every day to be thankful for!

The Seattle area is in the throes of a heat wave! It actually has broken records! For those of you not in 'the know', it rarely gets above 80 in the summer and this weekend it has done so! I, although, was stuck in a car with 4 boys and no air conditioning! But if you want to know where any and all DMV's that are open on Saturdays, I'm your gal!

We did make it to the lake though and had a good time swimming. But what I wouldn't give for a nice sandy beach where you don't have to wear shoes and worry about how much duck poop is in the water! I lost my flip-flops twice and I swear something reached for me out of the depths of the green mossy lake bottom! But it cooled us off and we had a fabulous chicken dinner and a great weekend!

I am in the process of getting ready for my mother-in-law. She is coming on Tuesday and I am really looking forward to it. She doesn't speak a lick of English but can make a full meal for 6 out of a red pepper, some rice and a 4 ounce piece of beef! Love that little woman. My husband is a middle child in a family of 12 living children (his mother was with child 22 times), and she is probably the strongest woman I know! No joke! But she at times refuses to bend to social norms, or rather American social norms! For example, I came home from work one day and she had washed her underwear and had hung them up on the bushes outside for all to see!! I just had to smile and give her a big sloppy kiss! In hot weather she goes around with a hand towel on her head, I understand, it keeps her in the shade! She has lived a full life and has always worked hard, so she deserves it!

My husbands interactions with his family are so different from mine. They tell each other what they think without factoring in feelings and at times it can get pretty dicey! But they have each others back all the time! True devotion!

I'm thinking that instead of catching everything and everyone up, I thought I would start at the present and add snippets here and there!

We have learned to take one day at a time. Good motto to live by. Luis always says, "Today I am not going to drink, tomorrow I will" He says that every day and that tomorrow never comes. I am proud of him and the changes he has made. Don't worry I am not going to make this blog into an homage to Luis, I am just so stinkin' happy!!!

Another awesome thing, Luis has started his own landscaping business. We have bought the tools and the truck and he has a few accounts already in the works. We are saving for a house and a car. Although, right now I am leaning on the car first. We are doing much better financially than we ever have and actually have been able to save!! Amazing!!! That's what banks really are for! Who'da thunk?

New Beginnings

A year ago this month I was in Guatemala awaiting the birth of the baby girl that was to join our little family. Due to unforseen changes in policy, it sadly didn't work out and I was crushed! I was so hoping to become the mother that I have felt I can be.

But upward and onward.

This year (2010) has been a huge success for the Perdomos. As Luis and I came home from Guatemala, I discovered that we needed to work on a few things to put us on the right path. For those of you who do not know my husband, please don't judge too harshly. He is an alcoholic. There! I said it. Not the most glamorous of titles, but an issue nonetheless. As I visited my parents over the Christmas holidays (I was there a week without Luis), I realized that for us to move on and grow, some things needed to change. Luis was becoming increasingly more volatile and I was becoming increasingly more depressed. His drinking was absolutely out of control. I felt the only way to battle this was to deliver an ultimatum "The booze or me" Amazingly, I didn't have to deliver those words as he tearfully announced to me upon picking me up from the airport, that he was ready for to take the next step....AA! I was completely floored and the very next day looked up meeting times and places. I dropped off a very nervous Luis at his first meeting (he chose an English speaking group). And picked up a markedly different man (still Luis). For 2 months he went to one meeting every day and to this day has been 7 months sober!!!!
The peace that is in our house is amazing. The love I felt that had been lacking has since returned a hundred-fold! He's not perfect, nor is he trying to be perfect but I have found him to be an amazingly strong man and so committed to this sober lifestyle. In return I have committed myself to support him 110%. We have grown as a family unit and can now talk in ways we never could before. I know that Heavenly Father softened his heart. He just goes about it in mysterious ways!!

I have also re-committed myself to this blog. Changes are coming, so please bear with me as I muddle through this process!
Terri